Taking a leap of faith

This post is aptly named because a big part of my life has changed recently. For one thing I am getting a civil ceremony with my partner in December :)..(So crochet has taken somewhat of a back seat lately)..but also I have changed another big part of my life in literally taking a leap of faith and going back to church..

The most scariest thing about the latter is that I had a complete meltdown prior to this..I won't go into personal details as its not really relevant..what is though is the fact that for me it took such a drastic thing happening to finally make me sit up take note & decide that I had to take control once & for all. What helped immensely is that the new Priest at my church is such a lovely sensitive helpful man he made me feel instantly at ease!..

I started gradually attending..& then I felt the urge to give all my unused books to the church for the Christmas fete..I could never have given this idea more than a seconds thought before..sure I could give a few to charity but this was alot of books! These have been my safety blanket. I bought dozens of new ones & was always rescuing them at library sales..until the cupboards in the flat were full..then the storage chest..so many books like my own private library..so many never even read..yet things are different suddenly but why??.. 

I am not going to sit here typing that everyone should go to church..that's not my decision to make..I think that the point is this..if you can find something that you love..that's just for you.. it has to makes you feel really passionate.. that can distract you from obsessions & rituals, something that you can lose yourself in...you can begin to battle against ocd..

Also having someone who believes in you is also a HUGE help along with someone who will not take any nonsense but in a loving caring way..because sometimes when we are alone with our ocd we can make small things seem so huge..when really they are nothing to fear..my partner is great at this...she is caring & gently explains things yet is firm when needed..& again my Priest is a great confidant..

I hope this helps someone

take care all until next time..