Humble beginnings

Hi and welcome to my blog! to give you a bit of background I'm a 40 year old lesbian lady from the uk.. had just started crocheting when I began getting more severe migraines.. the symptoms didn't stop the images in front of my eyes and constant headache..I was suicidal at one point I couldn't stand the pain and I could barely concentrate...but I had to do something..my gp didn't know what else to give me and my appt at the royal hospital for neurology and neurosurgery was a way off...so I started crocheting for a few minutes at a time...patterns were hard to follow but I managed small motifs and a whole world opened up to me when I discovered freeform knitting and crochet..as the months went on I noticed that even a few minutes work gave me a sense of achievement as I completed the motifs I eventually created a small shawlette>>I will have to find it and post photo's (note to brain)...just in time for my 40th birthday party! by this time two years had passed and I had tried a few different drugs... none have which have cured me...I still struggle with the swirling images and constant headaches but I keep battleing on..
with regards to my ocd... I have never thought about using knitting and crochet to deliberately help my ocd but I know its possible this is a very good blog: http://www.crochetconcupiscence.com/crochet-saved-my-life/   
I just got the book and have started reading it....more on that later ....back to my ocd...I am a book lover I collect books...not randomly but obsessively I used to search round and round on amazon finding the perfect one...I got so many one day you could easily find me hidden under a pile from my cupboard waving my fave pink crochet hook going 'I'm over here' now pass the yarn I am shaking here I've not crochet for a week...but seriously i have to cut down..now this is no easy feet...I have done four days and it feels like an  eternity allready...I have promised myself no books until next wednesday....wish me luck!!... what makes it worse is when u feel down.. when u have an argument with someone feel lonely or are not occupied... then the bully in my head kicks in all the more and says 'just one it won't hurt...but my bank balance doesn't agree!!...the negative thoughts well they get me too every day flooding my mind at an alarming rate...and the counting...it drives me nuts!!
so what did i try??
believe me i have tried so many things..i got half way through cognitive theraphy before the migraines had me in bed constantly...I have read self help books and isn't it funny self help books for a book addict!! I have tried meditation and sometimes its good but sometimes i can't just sit with the thoughts or I am fidgety so...
I picked up my crochet hook!
I started some freeform crochet and my favourite pink crochet hook...its a work in progress..its crochet for theraphy and its got me through the last four days and counting....no books till wednesday...lets see how I do...
why only till wednesday?
coz i am trying to cut down bit by bit until creating is more important than acquiring..